Ah, Benevolent Winston Peters. Seeing as you’re a hobbit, and an old one at that, you love to sleep.

Before long, you drift off and dream of The Shire. You dream of the rolling hills and odd little underground houses, and drinks at the Prancing Pony and arguments about gardening or something.

But then your dream takes a sinister turn.

Your vision is filled with an image of a magic portal. You sense an evil presence from another dimension knocking at this magic door – an evil being so full of hate and malice that it could destroy the very world you live in.

“Please no!” you cry out in desparation. “Close Portal, I beg you! Shut tight your door and forever keep this evil away.”

To your suprise, the Spirit of the Portal responds.

“OK then” it says, in a magic echo-y voice. “Tell you what. I’ll ask you a riddle about who is trying to break through to this magnificent world. If you guess correctly, I will keep myself closed, and not let this nasty trickster in.”

“Sounds fair Portal”, you reply. “Ask me the riddle then.”

“I’ve been around since days of yore,
But each election, I’m back for more.
I’ll stir the pot and make you stress,
Which side I’m on—well, that’s anyone’s guess.

I’m a homophobic ghoul, with boomer fans
Who cheer my Donald Trump-style plans
It’s best for all if I retire
Instead I’ll wreak havoc upon the shire!

That’s a tough one! What do you answer?