Inside the shop, there’s an old rock monster with a guitar. You guess that this must be Rockin Rocky.
He sticks his enormous tongue out as you enter, and starts playing a song, with his old hobbit friend Spider on the drums. For some reason, the poster on his wall has the name ‘Ricky’ on it – even though this isn’t an AI generated image. Gary drew it. But he got the name of the shopkeeper wrong.
♫ How hard have you been rockin? ♫
Total banger this one. Technically not Thee Golden Geese, but another band entirely. However, Thee Geeses have covered this live on more than one occassion, so it’s fine to include it here. Play it once, and it will live rent free in your head for several days.
“How hard have you been rockin,” asks Rockin Rocky after finishing the song, “since we last met?”
“We’ve never met,” you reply.
He smiles. “Well, I like to think that a stranger is just a friend I haven’t met yet.”
“Hmm,” you reply, and vomit in your mouth a little bit. “What have you got for sale Rocky? Apart from the pile of pebbles and the skull on the counter, which I don’t really need.”
“Let me show you friend,” he says before whipping out a list of stuff for sale.
| ITEM | COST |
| Rock. HIt people with it for 1 damage. Not as good as any weapon. | 1 Gold |
| Rock bomb. Chuck it at an enemy by rolling a die. If you roll anything but a 1, it hits for 6 points of damage. If you roll a 1 it explodes in your hand, dealing 6 points of damage to you. Handy for the imminent boss fight. | 4 Gold |
| Goose juice. Heals you back to full health. Probably worth buying, especially at Rocky’s rock bottom price. | 2 Gold |
| Hiss of the Poltergoost. A magic spell, only usable by Florence. Cast it like a normal honk blast spell attack, but marvel as it does 6 whole points of damage. | 4 Gold |
| Skillz stone. A cool stone that bestows upon the bearer a whole extra point of Skillz. Nice. | 6 Gold |
| Fabled Thee Golden Geese golden Thee Golden Geese pen. A nice pen, given away once at a gig. Owning it boosts your self esteem so much that you actually gain 2 additional points to your maximum health score. Magically, or something. | 6 Gold |
Make whatever purchases you like, noting the necessary changes on your character sheet. Then bid Rockin Rocky a good day, and continue you on your merry way. If you feel like it, treat yourself to another blast of ‘How hard have you been rockin’?’ before leaving the shop.